Saying you hate this town, but you'll never leave..

mizui @ 2007-05-30T00:05:00

2007-05-30T05:19:54Z

"Close the door, leave your fears behind,
Let me give you what you're giving me."

I haven't had much time to post lately, but Russ and I had a WONDERFUL time at Worlds of Fun, we didn't argue at all, we had tons of fun, and we got home safe. I'll have to post the only two pictures we got from our time there later, as well as more details of our trip.

That isn't the reason I'm posting, though. I had this extremely odd dream last night, and it's been bothering me all day. I rarely ever have vivid dreams, and strangely enough I rarely ever dream about my real father. (Who passed away when I was younger, for those of you who don't know.) But this dream was extremely vivid, although short, and my father was the main thing in this dream.

Some random normal dream-like things happened for a bit, you know, when you can't explain it because it was so entirely random and pointless.. until the colors suddenly became very clear, and I felt as though I was actually in the dream instead of watching it like I normally do. I was walking through a fancy restaurant when I passed this room with glass doors. My father was sitting at the table, chatting with a woman. I don't know who she was, and didn't really care, but I assumed she was a business partner since my father was always away on business trips. I stared at him in shock, almost knowing that it wasn't usual for him to be there, and he stared at me the same way. It was extremely eerie. I mouthed the words 'I love you' as clearly as I could as I began to cry, and I ran into the room and began hugging him as tightly as I could. He hugged back, and also started to cry. We continued to hug for a while until I was jolted awake by Russ, who was moving closer to me, almost shoving me off the bed as usual. I didn't mean to be, but I became overwhelmingly upset with Russ, and it continued to throw my entire day out of proportion. I feel extremely, well.. 'emo' today because of it. My father has been dead for almost eleven years, and it almost surprises me that I'm this shaken up over my dream.

Edit: On a much happier note, Vinny (my new ferret) is doing quite well. Driving me insane, but it's all good.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/mizzyisdizzy/CABMMX37.jpg
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mizui @ 2007-05-17T13:25:00

2007-05-17T18:32:05Z

"Something about having everything you think you'll ever need
Sitting in the seat next to you."
Well.. I spoke with Russ about some of the frustrations I've been having, and it seems that he has been having some of the same concerns. We talked it out and we're better now. Not completely, but better none the less. Apparently he hasn't talked to Michelle at all since the rumors started, he's been avoiding her. I'm still slightly concerned, but then again he has his worries about me and some of the people I work with also. I don't have any interest in any of my co-workers, though. I guess we're just jealous people.

Me and Russ are going to go to Worlds of Fun this Saturday for our three year anniversary, which I'm excited about. Too bad Oceans of Fun won't be open until the 26th.. I'll have to go there sometime this year also, maybe at the end of July. My friends and I have been talking about taking a road trip for a long time now, maybe we can take a mini road trip there.

I haven't talked about her on here yet, but I have this friend Brittany that I work with. We've been hanging out quite a bit, it's nice to make new friends. She has a girlfriend, Gina, who's father just passed away this week. Hopefully she'll be okay, I can relate to her situation since my father passed away when I was eight, but I don't think she's in the mood to talk to anyone. That's normal, though.

Anyway, I switched shifts for today with Brittany so she can go to the wake, so I have to be to work at 4:00pm instead of 9:00, which is great. I got to see Russ just a little bit ago and he had an interview at his job to get a pretty big promotion. He said it went well, but he won't find out until Monday if he got the job or not. I really hope he did! Wish him luck, guys.

mizui @ 2007-05-14T20:07:00

2007-05-15T01:41:13Z

"Now that I've found someone,
I'm feeling more alone than I ever have before."
I'm not really sure if things are improving or not.
On the positive side, I was asked by my manager if I was interested in a manager position, which will hopefully be available to me soon. There's more to the story than that, but I feel extremely drained from my energy right now.

Russ and I appear to be doing alright, although I still have an irrational fear that he is going to cheat on me. He's never cheated on me in the past, so I don't really have a reason to think he'd do such a thing.. but I still don't know. There is this girl, Michelle, that he's been hanging out with. I have no idea who she is except that he works with her. Granted, I don't think he's ever been alone with her except to take her home a few times.. but I have a terrible feeling about it. Perhaps it's my insecurity kicking in. I hope it is. I have sort of confronted him about it, telling him that I'm worried and would like to know more about her at the very least.. According to his co-workers Michelle has a crush on Russ, and people at work joke that he's sleeping with her, which makes me wonder if they are closer than he leads on. When I asked if she was pretty his response was "Yes, she's just like you." Comforting. She is also much closer to his age than I am, which concerns me.
He's not a very good liar, so I suppose my best bet is to sit back and listen to what he has to say before making a judgment call. I'm just so scared, though.

My stomach has been hurting non-stop lately, most likely due to stress, and I have to admit that I've been having some pretty terrible thoughts lately. I'm now seeing that I need to go to counseling immediately.

mizui @ 2007-05-07T17:40:00

2007-05-07T23:07:56Z

"If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,
Then I'll follow you into the dark."

I haven't posted in a very long time.. But I was sitting around just now, doing nothing, and realized that I will eventually look back and wish that I had been posting more. I enjoy looking over my past entries, just to see how much I've changed, or how I used to feel.. and hopefully see that things have improved. Right now, things aren't improving.

Life hasn't been so easy on me, and it's starting to take an emotional tole. Russ and I have been fighting for.. a very long time now. He recently moved out, after us living together for over half a year. Our three year anniversary is this month, which certainly doesn't help.
It's strange, we're still dating but I feel so lonely. I see him only a little less than I used to, but I just can't place where this insecurity is coming from, or why. I've found that I am having difficult trust issues with just about everyone I know, so it's probably a good thing that Russ and I are going to be visiting a councilor sometime in the near future. We're still waiting for a call back to set up a specific date.

I've been a little tight on cash lately, but because of my emotional status right now I haven't been taking the necessary steps towards saving any money I may need in the near future. I was out with my roomate yesterday, feeling particularly lonely, and wound up bringing a two month old ferret home with me. He's extremely adorable, and we'll hopefully make good company for each other. It doesn't take some sort of psychologist to see that I'm using Vincent (the ferret) to fill a gap that was caused by Russ moving out, although I definitely feel a sort of bond with 'Vinnie' already.

I am still on the hunt for a car, and a new job, which is adding to the massive amount of stress I'm already feeling. Actually, I need to head off to apply at a few places at some point today, so I should probably be doing that instead of writing this.

I don't expect any sort of response from anyone, although any advice would be appreciated. I'm mostly writing this to sort things out for myself.

mizui @ 2007-01-12T20:18:00

2007-01-13T02:19:18Z

I know that several of you play Maple Story, and I've been getting addicted to the game Audition Online made by the same people. I want to buy items for my character, but I can't in the US. Anyone who plays Maple able to get me a pre-paid card? *bats eyelashes* Or anyone else play Audition as well?

mizui @ 2006-08-10T13:36:00

2006-08-10T18:42:23Z

"I never jumped in and rescued you,
But I wanted to."
Well.. a lot has gone on lately.. On the bad side, I'm sick. Bleh.. Also, Russ was fired from AMP because he didn't want to take his undershirt off because he's allergic to the work shirt. Literally, that's it. It's a long story, and I also got involved somehow (not how you'd think either) and was yelled at a lot by one of the managers. Anyway, I've ranted about it plenty so.. I don't feel like typing it all right now.

On the good side, tomorrow is Russ' birthday so we're all going to Adventureland! It'll be really fun, I'm excited. <3

Oh yeah, any of you who have a MYSPACE... As much as I hate that site, I'm kinda getting used to it since I was forced to make one by my friends. >>;
Go ahead and post if you have one, and I'll add you.

mizui @ 2006-07-26T19:09:00

2006-07-27T00:16:40Z

"So now we're here, and now is fine.
So far away from there, and there is time"
I've been learning to appreciate things more, although it's a little bothersome. I miss Russ even while he's away at work, or in the other room.. And every time I say 'goodbye' I wonder if it will be the last time we speak. It scares me. I now understand why some people fear love.

I've decided I'm going to start living how I want to. If I want to wear mismatched, stripped socks. I will. If I want to wear my hair up in childish pigtails, I will. I suppose I received some random inspiration from somewhere, although I'm not sure why or how. I'm going to start living.

I'm sorry for sounding cheesy.. but I've never felt happier with such simple things.

mizui @ 2006-07-18T22:21:00

2006-07-19T03:27:12Z

"Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?"
You know how people say that life is like a rollercoaster? Yeah, well I've really been feeling that lately. Things have been a little rough between me an Russ lately, but today has been pretty great. Not a whole lot happened, but not even the slightest bad thing happened so I consider it a wonderful day. Russ showed up at my house a few minutes ago and brought me a rose, like he used to do. It's sitting on my desk right now, since I haven't hung it up to dry yet. (I love dried roses, they're so beautiful.)

On another note, I've been wearing my hair up for work a lot lately. I feel prettier when I wear my hair up. Not sure why I wanted to mention that, I guess it's also something that's cheered me up lately. xD

That's about all I had to post about for now.. ♥ ♥

mizui @ 2006-07-08T08:35:00

2006-07-08T13:45:36Z

"I can't leave you waiting,
But I can't stay and watch this city burn."

It's bee a long time since I've updated, which I feel kind of bad about.. But I suppose I didn't have a whole lot to write about until now. (That and I'm never home anymore. ><)

I finally got 'promoted' at my job, and I'm going to be a game technician now. :D After a month I'll get a pretty decent pay increase (about a dollar raise minimum.) I start on Monday as a tech, but I'm really nervous. The guys I'm working with (I'm the only tech girl xD) know a hell of a lot more than I do, but I know I can do it. I know everything I've been shown, and I'm a pretty quick learner. <3

Aside from that, I saw the midnight showing of Pirates of the Carribean: DMC, on Thursday night!! Best. Movie. Ever. I'm going to go see it again Monday night. :D

Other than that, a whole lot hasn't been going on.. So, I guess I'll update next month. xD (Kidding, I'll try to update sooner.)

Edit: Ohyes, and the fourth of July was super fun. Russ and I went to Jesse's house with a ton of other people. Her stupid neighbors almost killed us with their stupidity. They were shooting roman candles at each other, which kept flying and almost hitting me and Russ. That pissed us off.. then they tried to light them off in their tree (which didn't catch on fire, amazingly.) They also knocked over one of the HUGE fire works, which exploded about a foot away from Russ, who was laying in the grass. I'm surprised that didn't catch on fire either. Other than that it was loads of fun, once we were done blowing everything up (phonebook included, which is kinda like.. a tradition) we swam in the pool until about 12:30 or so. I like holidays. :D

mizui @ 2006-06-07T19:57:00

2006-06-08T01:06:44Z

"And as she carries on without a doubt,
I wonder if she's figured it out."

I'M BACK!! Wow, it feels great to be home. I feel like I've been gone for years, although it was only a week and a half. Later on I'll probably post about all the great stuff I did on vacation (in detail) but at the moment I want to enjoy being home and go see my friends and what-not.

For the heck of it, here's some of the stuff I got to do:
- See my Gramma
- Go to the beach
- Rent jet skis (OMGFUN)
- Parasailing, FOR FREE (Neat story behind it :D)
- Got a tan, although it was when I had shorts on so it kinda sucks xD
- Discovered that I can not find one of my favorite candy bars (Nut Roll) in any other state ><;
- Go Kayaking (Russ and I chased ducks in our kayak, and see tons of turtles, which was super fun)
- Walked the San Antonio River Walk with Russ, which was romantic <3
- Swim at Turner Falls (in Oklahoma) which was also romantic and SO MUCH FUN (Probably one of the best parts)
- Saw dolphins!
- Went to a natural cave type place and spent two hours in the shop finding rocks for my collection xD (I'mmanerd)
- Got lots of pictures, which I will most certainly try to post tons of later on! <3

mizui @ 2006-05-29T11:52:00

2006-05-29T17:00:26Z

"Perhaps as someone else,
Perhaps as you I'll be worth noticing."

Well, off we go to Texas in about.. an hour or so. I'm excited! :D
(I hope I packed everything.. >>;)

See ya all in a week! <3

mizui @ 2006-05-27T13:59:00

2006-05-27T19:17:55Z

"I won't go, I won't sleep,
I can't breathe until you're resting here with me."

I wish I had more time to update, but I'm away from home so often now.. Russ and I had a wonderful two year anniversary. (He gave me a promise ring, shh.. It's so beautiful.)
As cheesy as 'promise rings' are, it really wasn't as typical as you'd think. It's personal what he promised, but it wasn't the whole "I promise to be with your forever" type of promise. You can't vow things like that.

Work has kinda sucked lately, and I miss Planet X a little bit. Although, Planet X has completely changed now. It's under new ownership, which makes me so sad. I'm going to miss Dave, the new owner is a total moron. I went in there recently and everything is different, it's only been a few weeks since I left and it felt like I hadn't been there in years. So weird..

My grandmother had a heart attack recently, and the doctors say that she could die at any moment. I shudder at the thought of it, but I suppose I've been seeing it coming.. Luckily on Monday my parents and Russ and I are all going to Texas to visit her, and go to the beach and stuff. I'm really excited, it'll be the first real vacation Russ has ever been on.

I had a lot of things to type about before, but now that I actually started typing I've forgotten it all, or changed my mind about some of it. Oh well.. I'll try to type a lot when I get back from vacation.

One last note: X-men III totally kicked ass. <3

mizui @ 2006-05-11T21:59:00

2006-05-12T03:13:52Z

"While I was busy waging wars on myself,
You were trying to stop the fight."
Well, life has been fantastic lately. I absolutely love my new job, and I'm really thinking they're going to make me a supervisor sometime soon. Several managers want me to be a supervisor and think I'm one of the best workers there. That makes me so happy!

My schedule this month is confusing me though, too much stuff going on. xD
This Sunday is Mother's Day, so I gotta buy something for mummsie, then next Friday is Russ' and my two year anniversary. I have NO idea what to get him, but I'm just so excited to finally say we've been dating for two years. Sometimes it feels like we've just fallen in love, and sometimes it feels like we've been together forever. Both feelings are wonderful. I love him so much, even if he can be a pain sometimes. I know there aren't many people who could put up with my bullshit. <3

That same day is when my mom wants us to go visit my sister Kara in Kansas. I'm really looking forward to seeing her, although I wish it wasn't on our anniversary. It'll still be great, especially since Kara has been going through a rough time with her divorce, and having two little kids now to take care of alone. She's strong though, so I know she'll be fine.

At the end of the month, I think on the 24th or so, me, Russ, and my parents are all going to Texas for a vacation! W00T! Russ has never been outside of Nebraska (except a little in to Iowa, but that doesn't count) so it'll be fun to show him the ocean for the first time. I'm glad we'll be able to share that. We'll get to see my grandma too! I miss my gramma so much, so I'm definitely looking forward to that. We're going to the River Walk in San Antonio, of course, which is so beautiful. It'll be romantic to walk with Russ there. Aww.. How cheesy. <3

Anyway, that's just about it for now..
Well, on one last note, Russ and I are still working on our fighting, but we've improved. Both of us are so damn stubborn, it's really difficult. I know we'll work through it, though.. After all, we've managed to get this far, and are still very much in love. <3

Edit: Oh yeah, I forgot to mention.. Yesterday Mitch (the tech manager at my job), Russ, and me all went to the ZOO! Then we went to Spaghetti Works. It was fun, but all the other fifteen people we invited ditched us. Losers. ;p

mizui @ 2006-04-24T08:35:00

2006-04-24T13:51:12Z

"She didn't choose this role,
But she'll play it and make it sincere."
Okay, lots has happened lately that I wish I had been posting about, but I've been too busy. Or lazy.

I'm not going to the anime convention after all because the girl Russ and I were going with can't go anymore, but we are going with my parents to Texas to see my grandma and go to the beach n' stuff. I'm really happy about that, it'll probably be one of the last times I can see my grandma, and she has yet to meet Russ so yeah. She told my mom that she's excited to see us and meet him. :D

Lets see.. OH! I asked my mom to trim and layer my hair, so she did. It looked perfect until it dried, then the front looked exactly as I wanted it but the middle layer in the back was randomly missing and the top layer was too short in the back. It was TERRIBLE. My mom asked me if I screamed when I saw it, it was that bad. I cried for about an hour until I forced Russ to take me home so I could yell at my mom for it. xD When she saw it all she could do was apologize, and she thought for sure that I had taken the back part of my hair and chopped a chunk of it off. That's what it looked like, not even like a bad haircut, but like someone had taken a clump of hair and just cut the whole end of it. Ugh. So anyway, she fixed it.. except now my hair is LESS than shoulder length long. I've never had it that short, EVER. It was at least twice as long as that before, and exactly how I wanted it. I'm so pissed.. but atleast everyone says it looks cute and it a refreshing change for me. I'm going with that it's my "summer haircut" so I won't be so mad about it. I'd post a picture, but I look like shit so.. not doing that.

There was more I had to post but I forget.. Oh, my last day at PX was SUPPOSED to be this Tuesday, but the person who is taking my shift can't start until Thursday so I have to work Wednesday morning. When I have to work at the Amazing Pizza Machine at 4:00 EVERY DAY this week, and at 3:00 on Friday. Damn you Brian, you dumbass. They're all lucky I'm too nice. Oh well.

On one last note.. I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

mizui @ 2006-04-23T14:52:00

2006-04-23T20:11:34Z

"All the lonely people,
Where do they all belong?"

This has been bothering me. I'm tempted to ask the next Christian I see these questions.
(Caution: If you are a religious person who is easily offended, I'd suggest you quit reading now.)

What is the worst possible crime you can imagine?

Say, for arguments sake, that you have a child. Perhaps eighteen to twenty-some years of age, old enough to know right from wrong, and to be punished and tried as an adult. This child of yours commits the crime you thought of in the above question, or maybe even all the horrible things that popped into your head. Of course, this person is to be punished for their crime, whatever it may be. This is fair.

Now imagine that this person, who committed the worst crime you could possibly imagine, has a child. Whether the child be pure of heart, or exactly as the parent, the child has not committed any such crimes. Is it fair for it to be punished for the crime the adult committed? What about the next set of grandchildren, are they to be punished as well? Is this justice? I can guarantee that most of you agreed that it is not.

Ask a religious person this question, without them knowing that it has anything to do with religion, and they will probably agree that it is unfair. Then ask them if it is fair for us, everyone in the world at this exact moment, to be punished for the crime Adam and Eve committed. They will most likely say yes, that it is. Because disagreeing with God's decisions would prove their religion wrong.

That's all I have to say about that for now.. Feel free to argue with me, I'm always up for a good religious debate.

mizui @ 2006-04-17T19:54:00

2006-04-18T00:58:37Z

"Nothing's gonna stop me,
And I won't quit till I'm sittin' on the top."

Check it, b'otches. ;D

That's where I be workin', hommies. (Yes, apparently this new job has turned me GANSTA.)

mizui @ 2006-04-13T00:36:00

2006-04-13T05:46:32Z

"City lights lay out before us,
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder."
YESSS!! ROAADDD TRIPPPPPPP~!!

Okay so I get to go on like.. three vacations this year. xD xD
My parents and I already decided to go on vacation at the end of May when my dad has time off, and they wanted Russ to come too since Russ hasn't even been out of Nebraska except a little into Iowa. But then Christina told us about this anime convention her and some of her friends are going to at the same exact time and want me and Russ to come with her. Men are silly, however, and Russ failed to tell me the convention is in NORTH CAROLINA. Tad bit important there, Russy. xD
Anywhoo, so I talked to my mom and apparently my dad wants to take the first week of his two week vacation to spend time on our boat out on the river, so I can go with them while they do that! YAYAYAY!!! I'm sooo excited!

So, second road trip of the year (I've never gone on a road trip before that wasn't with family so I'm reallllly excited) will be to CALIFORNIA, BWHAHAHAHA, with my best friend and some of our friends, and Russ of course. Wow that was a run on sentence cause I'm all hyper and stuff. Well, Jesse (my best friend) hasn't seen her father since she was like.. 7-9 years old, 'cause he lives in California, and he works in movies and stuff so he can pull some strings to get us there cheaper. He also can get us in to Disney Land (World? I forget which one is which. xD) for less money too, so that'll be great. As Jesse put it, even if we don't have any money, he wants to see her so badly he'd probably put a mortgage on his house just to get the money for us to get there. :o Literally. I haven't even cashed my check from a week and a half ago still, so I'm pretty good at saving money. It shouldn't be a problem. :D He also wants to take us horseback riding, swimming at the beaches, everything we wanna do. It'll be SO much fun. We're gonna rent and SUV or a van or something to get there, and it's just gonna be me, Jesse, Russ, and three to five other friends. I'm so excited!! W000TTT! :D

I'd also like to offhandedly note that Russ and I haven't been fighting, like.. at all. We have our little tiffs like every couple, but nothing like before. Life is going swimmingly. <3

mizui @ 2006-04-11T15:28:00

2006-04-11T20:30:43Z

"Save the last dance for me, catch the last bus with me,
Give the last kiss to me."
I feel really bad quitting Planet X, especially since I've just found out that I'm one of Dave's favorite people there. ><
This new job will be a great experience for me though.. I put in my two weeks today and my last day will be the 25th. I'll miss PX. <3

Oh, and my ferret died yesterday. ;____; I'll miss you, Tobei!! *whimper*

mizui @ 2006-04-06T23:13:00

2006-04-07T04:17:59Z

"I hear you laugh, I heard you sing,
'I wouldn't change a single thing'."

I GOT A JOB AT THE AMAZING PIZZA MACHINE, OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. BWEHEHEHEHE... I'm excited. Go me. :D
They LOVED me there, I was so freakin' proud. Oh, aaannnddd.. Russ got a job there too! xD In different positions though, so we won't be trapped around eachother the whole time. <3

I'M HAPPY. Now to tell Brian and Dave.. ^^;;;

mizui @ 2006-03-17T16:15:00

2006-03-17T22:23:03Z

"Just let me hold you while you're falling apart,
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down."
Oookay, children are far too open about their personal issues. Crazy children..

Little girl (about 6 or so): You're pretty!!
Me: Thank you! :o You're pretty too!
Girl: I like your earrings! I LIKE YOUR SHOES TOO!
Me: Thanks. o0; I like your shoes too, they're pink and black.
Girl: *smiles crazy like and runs away*
Me: ...?

She came up to me a little bit later to talk again..
Girl: I like your glasses! I like the color of them!
Me: Oh, thanks! .... :D?
Girl: I can't see my dad anymore because he was abusing me.
Me: .... 0_____o; Oh.. well.. that isn't good...?
Girl: Yeaah... it stinks when you have a lot to remember.
Me: .. Eh?
Girl: I mean.. if you have a lot of stuff to remember the person by, and so there is stuff all over your room, and you remember them all the time. It makes you sad.
Me: Aw. ;___;

Crazy kid. I feel bad for her though.

mizui @ 2006-03-10T08:14:00

2006-03-10T14:21:15Z

"I want to run from everything,
Everything that holds me down."
I'm tired of being so dramatic.. I'm not even used to acting that way. I suppose things are going better, Russ and I have talked a lot about our fighting and stuff.. and I think we're both improving a little.

I doubt anyone will really answer, but I've been trying to figure out what makes everyone else happy. Anyone?
I'm happy, but not as much as I used to be.. Although I think the pain is slowly ebbing.

My grandmother is in the hospital again, though.. and now my great aunt has lung cancer, so that isn't really helping my lack of cheery-ness. It'll be okay, though.

mizui @ 2006-03-04T17:38:00

2006-03-04T23:43:18Z

"I could say 'day' and you'd say 'night',
Tell me it's black when I know that it's white."
This isn't a healthy relationship, Russ. After not seeing you for a week, only two hours of being with you again and we're already at each others throats. I thought you missed me.

I'm not sure how much longer I can put up with all your problems. You think I have issues? Man, I'm normal compared to you.. You literally act like you are 12. I'm not even saying that as an insult, I mean that you actually use the mentality of a twelve year old. You can't yell at people, you can't slam on your breaks in the middle of Center street, you can't curl into a little ball and think it's okay to NOT talk to me like a mature adult. I know you don't understand why I say this, but you need to act like an adult. Why? Because I can't put up with your shit anymore. I'm really considering ending this for good.

mizui @ 2006-03-02T21:34:00

2006-03-03T03:42:02Z

"I could leave but I won't go,
Though my heart might tell me so."
My mom and I were at Cheeburger Cheeburger and there was a cardboard cut-out of Frank Sinatra..

Mom: Would you like it if I found a cut-out like that of David Bowie?
Me: O____O Yes, I WOULD.... I'd marry it..
Mom: *giggles and continues eating her french fries*
Me: ... And have little cardboard babies...
Mom: HAH- *chokes and can't break for like, a minute*

It was damn funny, and I didn't even think it was when I said it until after she started dying. xD

mizui @ 2006-02-28T08:43:00

2006-02-28T15:03:52Z

"I wonder what tomorrow has in mind for me,
Or am I even in its mind at all?"
Okay.. I've been really on edge lately and it finally took my mom telling me why to realize it. This Friday is the anniversary of my fathers death, and I suppose it still bothers me more than I realize because I've been pissy for no reason lately. ><;

Anyway.. I guess I'm alright now. I'm lonely though, Russ went to another medical study in Lincoln. He's going to get about $2700 for it, which is pretty sweet. He'll be back this Saturday, but I have to work because everyone else decided they wanted the fucking day off. Bunch of fucking slackers, I swear..
Speaking of which, last week Dave was pissed off because the bumper cars have never been cleaned properly as far as he could tell, or atleast hadn't been cleaned in a long time. He was talking about dropping everyone down to minimum wage because of it. Well, him and his father (Dave is the owner, by the way) cleaned the bumper cars for hours. I have to note that I'm one of the few people at PX that actually cleans anything. Everyone else is so lazy, and I mean EVERYONE. Even the best workers are still lazy to quite an extent. I don't think they mean to be, but they are. It's much easier to say you did a job and let someone else find out later that you didn't. No one gets into trouble for that sort of shit, but I'm hoping this whole thing will start that. I think one of the only reasons I work so hard is because I go all obsessive compulsive when I clean, I keep finding tiny little details that I can't stop without working on, until eventually I'm cleaning everything in site. (I'd also like to note that the last time I cleaned the bumper cars I got really sick because I got a bunch of BLACK dust and shit in my lungs, which is why I haven't cleaned them since. It also isn't a task during my shift.)
Moving on, the next day Dave and his father, Clements, were still there. Clem was ranting about how filthy the bathrooms were, although it was a Monday night task and only two days had passed since they were 'cleaned fully'. I love cleaning, for whatever reason, so I walked around with Clem while he pointed things out, then I went to two of the bathrooms and cleaned them from a little before 1pm to a little after 4pm. Non stop cleaning. They were SO sparkly once I was done. Apparently I made a really good impression on Clem and Dave (although Dave already liked me before, Clem could never even remember my name until after that, now he does and I'm one of the few employees he can remember xD) and they both thanked me profusely. They both even went out of their way to say goodbye to me and to thank me one last time for it. I was so proud. x3 Later on Brian came in when I was finishing the other bathrooms (which weren't nearly as bad because they were built when the store was built, and the other ones were there before PX.) He said I was doing a great job then said I could pick between an Ipod or a Nintendo SP. xD xD! So I took the Ipod. Apparently they were both in the lost and found for a while and they said I could have one or the other since I did such a good job. The Ipod is in GREAT condition, too. It's one of the older ones, the 20gb one I think, but it's still FREE. And I've wanted one for a long time. :D

I doubt anyone took the time to read all of that, but that's okay... ^^;
I miss my Russy!

mizui @ 2006-02-23T00:09:00

2006-02-23T06:13:35Z

"What happened to you?
You played the victim for so long now in this game."
I was going to make a happy entry about how great of a day this was, and how proud Dave (the owner) was of me today and all my hard work, and how Brian gave me a free IPod because everyone was proud of me for dealing with everyones shit at work and actually WORKING. But then Russ has to be a whiny little bitch and make me want to kill myself. And now my hand is bleeding. I'd say I want to cry, but I kinda ALREADY AM. I need a separate entry for happy things I think.

Atleast I have a free IPod. Now if only it was in the same room with me and I didn't have to get it from the other room and deal with my mother telling me every little thing that is wrong with me instead of comforting me when I want to DIE, things would be super. Yeah.